The Art of the Out-of-Office: Dos and Don'ts for Holiday Messages

You're about to leave for vacation. The bags are packed, the flights are booked, and there's one last thing sitting between you and freedom: the out-of-office message. It seems simple enough—a few lines to let people know you're gone. But etiquette experts say this small piece of writing carries more weight than most of us realize, and getting it wrong can damage professional relationships, lose business, or simply create unnecessary chaos in your inbox when you return.

The stakes feel small until they aren't. A sales executive named Adam Murfet, 41, watched a former colleague lose an actual deal because of a joke embedded in an out-of-office reply that angered a client. The humor landed badly. The client didn't find it charming. The deal evaporated. It's a reminder that every message you send, even an automatic one, will be read and judged.

So what makes a good out-of-office message? Debretts, an etiquette consultancy, offers a clear framework: be polite, be concise, give a specific return date, and provide an alternative contact if someone needs help while you're away. The politeness matters more than you'd think—starting with "Thank you for your email" rather than launching straight into "I'm on annual leave" sets a different tone. The specificity matters too. Don't just say you'll be back "soon." Say August 25th. Say the exact date.

What you should avoid is equally clear. Don't overshare about where you're going or what you're doing. Don't mention second homes or expensive hobbies. Don't engage in what Rupert Wesson, director at Debretts, calls "virtue signalling"—telling people you're taking time off to spend quality time with family. "Some people will be delighted," Wesson notes, "but given that they are the ones emailing you and are hard at work, you could risk rubbing their noses in it." The message can feel smug, like you're bragging about your freedom while they're stuck at their desks.

But there's a danger on the other end too. A message that simply says "I'm out of office" with no return date and no backup contact creates uncertainty. People don't know when to expect a reply. They don't know who else can help. That uncertainty breeds the "just-in-case" follow-up emails—the ones that pile up because senders aren't sure if their first message will reach anyone. Charlotte Davies, a career expert at LinkedIn, says a good out-of-office message does two things: it shares your dates and it points people to someone who can actually help. Before you leave, brief that person about anything important. It protects your break and it helps whoever's trying to reach you.

The question of humor is trickier. An informal team culture might support a light touch—a bit of personality can make you stand out in an era when so much communication is increasingly automated. But Paul Fitzsimmons, head of sales and marketing at law firm Wilford Smith, warns that sarcasm and glib jokes carry real risk. "I'm currently out of the office pretending this company doesn't exist," or "If it's urgent, call someone who cares," or "Emails received while I'm away will be deleted unread"—these might get laughs in person, but over email they can backfire. Murfet's rule of thumb is simple: would you write the same thing in a regular email? If not, don't put it in your out-of-office.

There's also the question of availability. Many people write that they'll have "limited access to email" while away, but this phrasing invites people to keep trying to reach you, as if you're still working. If you genuinely need to check messages, Wesson suggests saying you'll be "periodically checking emails"—it manages expectations more honestly. But if you want a real break, say so clearly: "I won't be checking emails during this time." Davies reminds readers that in the UK, you have a legal right to uninterrupted annual leave unless your contract specifies otherwise. Use it.

The final details matter too. Don't promise instant replies when you return—a backlog is normal, so "within a few days" is a better commitment. Make sure all contact details are correct. If you use Outlook, tick both internal and external contacts; it's easy to miss one. And when you come back, turn off your out-of-office message. A stale one sitting in your inbox signals disorganization. The message that was useful on day one becomes a liability by day five.