On a late October afternoon in the Tri-Cities, a sixteen-year-old from Coquitlam has given the old fable of cat and mouse a new and chilling form. Zoe Wang's short horror piece, "The Cat and the Mouse," placed second in the 15-to-18 division of a contest that three local libraries have run for more than a quarter century, a small tradition that asks young writers to frighten each other in five hundred words or fewer. Its power lies in the ordinary: a cup of tea, a shower, a phone screen, the slow tightening of the clock until midnight. It reminds us that the oldest stories about predators and
Scary Story Contest Winner: Zoe Wang's "The Cat and the Mouse" Spins a Tri-Cities Halloween Chill
The head is the first bite, the body the second.
Mark
Why does a 500-word story get a news write-up?
Mimi
It's a community tradition. Three libraries have run this contest for more than 25 years, and this is the second-place entry in the 15-to-18 group.
Mark
What were the required words?
Mimi
"Desiccated," "shriek" and "unnatural." All three show up in Zoe Wang's piece.
Luke
Worth saying what we actually know here. We know the contest details and the story text. We don't know how many entries there were or how the judging worked beyond who judged.
Mark
Who judged?
Mimi
Richard Dal Monte, the former editor of the now-defunct Tri-City News.
Mark
What makes the story work?
Mimi
The timestamps. It starts at 4 p.m. and tightens to minutes near midnight, and it's written in second person, so you're the mouse.
Luke
That's a reading of the text, which is fair, but the source gives no comment from Wang or the judge about her intent or why it placed second.
Mark
And what comes next?
Mimi
Freshet is publishing the top three in each category, 11-to-14 and 15-to-18, before Halloween.
O Pulso
- A teenager's 500-word ghost-clock story is climbing the Tri-Cities contest rankings, and its dread is built one timestamp at a time.
- Every hour the reader is hunted closer, from a glint on a cheese knife at 7 p.m. to a creature's black-mouthed shriek at 11:48.
- The horror turns inward when the narrator reveals itself as the creature, leaving the reader frozen as the duvet is peeled away.
- Freshet News is spreading the winning fiction across the season, and the story lands on its final chime with the house empty and the hunt already beginning again.
On a late October afternoon in the Tri-Cities, a sixteen-year-old from Coquitlam has given the old fable of cat and mouse a new and chilling form. Zoe Wang's short horror piece, "The Cat and the Mouse," placed second in the 15-to-18 division of a contest that three local libraries have run for more than a quarter century, a small tradition that asks young writers to frighten each other in five hundred words or fewer. Its power lies in the ordinary: a cup of tea, a shower, a phone screen, the slow tightening of the clock until midnight. It reminds us that the oldest stories about predators and prey still find their way into the newest hands.
The story begins with a clock. At 4 p.m., a reader who has become a character sits down with a cup of tea, comfortable and unaware. By midnight the house is empty. That is the span of "The Cat and the Mouse," a short horror piece by Zoe Wang, 16, of Coquitlam, which took second place in the 15-to-18 category of this year's Scary Story Contest in the Tri-Cities.
The contest is run by the Coquitlam Public Library, the Port Moody Public Library and the Terry Fox Library. It is open to students aged 11 to 18 and is now more than 25 years old. Entries are capped at 500 words, and the prizes are mall gift cards. This year's required words were "desiccated," "shriek" and "unnatural," and all three appear in Wang's text. Former Tri-City News editor Richard Dal Monte judged the entries.
Wang's piece opens with a rhyme about the old saying of the cat and the mouse, the mouse trapped again every time it escapes. Then the story unfolds in second-person timestamps, so the reader is the one being hunted. At 7 p.m., a glint off a knife blade reveals a warped, desiccated creature that vanishes when the reader blinks. At 9 p.m., something unnatural watches from the shower. At 10 p.m., a reflection on a phone screen shows the creature hovering over the reader's shoulder, its fanged smile splitting its face.
The narrator then speaks in the first person and reveals itself as the creature, savoring the fear. By 11:48 it is creeping closer in a silent shriek, and at 11:53 the duvet is peeled away while the reader lies frozen. At midnight the clock chimes, and the house is empty. The piece closes with a second rhyme: the cat circling her prey until she grows weary, leaps, and finds a new mouse.
The story begins with a clock. At 4 p.m., a reader-turned-character makes a cup of tea and sits down, relaxed, unaware that anything is wrong. By midnight, the house is empty. That is the span of "The Cat and the Mouse," a short horror piece by Zoe Wang, 16, of Coquitlam, which took second place in the 15-to-18 category of this year's Scary Story Contest in the Tri-Cities.
The contest is run jointly by three libraries: the Coquitlam Public Library, the Port Moody Public Library and the Terry Fox Library in Port Coquitlam. It is open to students aged 11 to 18 who live in the Tri-Cities, and it is now more than 25 years old. Entrants face a hard ceiling of 500 words, and the prizes are gift cards to Coquitlam Centre mall.
Each year the entries are built around required words. This year they were "desiccated," "shriek" and "unnatural." Richard Dal Monte, the former editor of the now-defunct Tri-City News, judged the submissions. In the run-up to Halloween, Freshet News is publishing the top three stories in both the 11-to-14 and 15-to-18 categories.
Wang's piece opens with a short rhyming verse about the old saying of the cat and the mouse, a hunter and its prey, with the mouse trapped again every time it escapes. The verse invites the reader to watch and see where the saying got its name.
Then comes the structure that carries the whole story: a series of timestamps, each narrated in the second person, so the reader is the one being hunted. At 7 p.m., while cutting cheese for a simple dinner, the reader sees something glint off the knife blade, a warped and desiccated creature that vanishes when they blink. At 9 p.m., in the shower, they feel watched by something unnatural. At 10 p.m., a reflection on a black phone screen shows the creature hovering over their shoulder, with shriveled skin stretched tight, strange proportions, slit pupils and a fanged smile splitting its face. They spin around, and no one is there.
The narrator then reveals itself as the creature, speaking in the first person and relishing the fear. By 11 p.m. the reader cannot sleep. At 11:48 they see it creeping closer, mouth open in a silent shriek. At 11:53 they lie frozen as the duvet is peeled away. At 11:57 the creature's mouth opens wider and wider, a black abyss, and the reader, in tears, does not resist its icy grip. At 11:59, the head is the first bite and the body the second. At midnight, the clock chimes and the house is empty.
The piece closes with another verse. The game continues to this day, the cat circling her prey until the night she grows weary of it, leaps, devours, and finds a new mouse to play with. The tightening intervals, from hours down to minutes, do the work of building dread within the 500-word limit, and the three required words all appear in the text.
The featured image for the piece is credited to Nick Shandra on Unsplash. Freshet News says it will continue publishing the remaining winners from both age categories through Halloween.
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