Earl Spencer's Diana memoir reopens royal wounds nearly 30 years after her death

Princess Diana died in a car crash in Paris in 1997; her young sons were required to walk behind her coffin, an experience that shaped their lives and contributed to ongoing family tensions.
The sound penetrated the stone walls and spread inside, where Charles sat listening.
Describing the moment Earl Spencer's eulogy drew applause from crowds outside Westminster Abbey during Diana's funeral.
Mark

Why does a book about something that happened nearly thirty years ago matter so much right now?

Mimi

Because the Royal Family has spent three decades trying to move past 1997, and this memoir threatens to unwind all of that. The palace's response wasn't casual—it was unusually sharp, which tells you how vulnerable they feel.

Luke

But we should be careful here. The palace didn't say Spencer is lying. It said grief distorts memory. That's actually a reasonable point. We don't know what was said in that phone call.

Mark

So who do we believe?

Mimi

That's the real question. Spencer was there. He says he was paying close attention. But he's also the brother of the woman who died, which means he's grieving and angry. The YouGov poll shows the public is split almost evenly.

Luke

And that matters. If a third of people don't know what to think, and another third think Spencer is wrong, then the book hasn't settled anything. It's just reopened the argument.

Mark

What about the broader pattern? Harry's memoir, the family rifts, the way Diana's death still shapes everything?

Mimi

That's the real story. Whether or not Charles said those exact words, the fact that Spencer felt the need to write this book, and that people believe him, says something about how the family handled that moment and how they've handled it since.

Luke

True. But we should distinguish between "the family handled things poorly" and "Charles said this specific thing." Those are different claims. One is about institutional failure. The other is about what one man said in one conversation.

Mark

And we may never know which version is right.

Mimi

No. But we know the wound is still open. That's what the book proves.

  • Earl Spencer claims King Charles sounded 'giddily elated' and said 'We'll forget her soon enough' after Diana's death — words the palace denies without quite saying they were never spoken.
  • The palace's rebuttal, framed around the unreliability of grief-distorted memory, is itself an unusual escalation — a sign that the allegation has landed somewhere tender.
  • A YouGov poll shows the public evenly fractured: roughly a third believe Spencer, a third do not, and a third cannot decide — a division that mirrors the unresolved nature of Diana's legacy itself.
  • The memoir threatens to drag the monarchy back to the crisis of 1997, when the Royal Family's perceived coldness nearly severed its bond with the public and required a televised intervention by the Queen to stabilize.
  • With the 30th anniversary of Diana's death arriving next year, Spencer's timing ensures that three decades of careful image rehabilitation for Charles and Camilla now face their most pointed public test.

Nearly thirty years after Princess Diana's death in Paris, her brother Earl Spencer has published a memoir that compels the Royal Family to defend itself in unusually direct terms — a measure of how incompletely the wounds of 1997 have healed. The allegations, centering on King Charles's demeanor in the immediate hours after Diana died, reopen questions about empathy, memory, and the cost of institutional self-preservation that the monarchy has spent three decades trying to answer. As the 30th anniversary of Diana's death approaches, the book reminds us that grief, when it belongs to millions, does not simply expire — it waits.

Nearly three decades after Princess Diana died in a Paris car crash, her brother Earl Spencer has published a memoir — Swan Song: Diana, My Sister — that has drawn an unusually sharp response from Buckingham Palace. The book alleges that King Charles, in the immediate aftermath of Diana's death, told Spencer 'We'll forget her soon enough' and sounded 'giddily elated,' like a lottery winner. The palace did not flatly deny the conversation occurred; instead, it suggested that grief can distort memory in ways the grieving person does not recognize — a subtle but pointed distinction.

The allegation reopens a wound that defined the monarchy's standing in 1997. When Diana died that August, the Royal Family appeared distant while millions laid flowers at the palace gates. The public's grief was so forceful that when Spencer delivered his eulogy at Westminster Abbey, the applause from crowds outside penetrated the stone walls — an extraordinary, uncomfortable moment for the royals seated within. The Queen's subsequent televised address, supported by Prime Minister Tony Blair, helped stabilize the institution, but the trauma never fully receded.

Diana's sons were required to walk behind her coffin — a decision Harry later called barbaric in his own memoir, and one Spencer had reportedly opposed. That experience shaped both brothers' lives and contributed to the ongoing rift between Harry and William, and to Harry's eventual departure from royal duties.

Spencer has insisted in interviews that his recollection is precise and that he was 'hyper alert' during the conversation. He frames the book as a necessary corrective ahead of the 30th anniversary of Diana's death. Psychologists note, however, that memory around traumatic events is genuinely unreliable, and that grief can produce unexpected emotional responses, including inappropriate euphoria. A YouGov poll found the public divided almost equally among those who believe Spencer, those who do not, and those who are unsure.

Royal commentators are split on the book's significance — some see it as essential testimony, others as an unnecessary reopening of old grievances. What is less disputed is that the memoir, arriving as the anniversary approaches, risks pulling the monarchy back into the difficult terrain of 1997, when its relationship with the public hung in the balance.

Nearly three decades after Princess Diana died in a Paris car crash, her brother has written a memoir that has forced the Royal Family to issue an unusually sharp rebuttal—a sign of how raw these wounds remain. Earl Spencer's book, Swan Song: Diana, My Sister, published this week, contains allegations about King Charles's behavior in the immediate aftermath of her death. The palace's response, though wrapped in courtier-like language, amounted to a direct denial of Spencer's account of a conversation between the two men.

The specific allegation centers on what Spencer says Charles told him after Diana's death: "We'll forget her soon enough." Spencer also claims the then Prince sounded "giddily elated" and like a "lottery winner" when discussing the news. Buckingham Palace pushed back by suggesting that grief can distort memory and cloud judgment in ways others do not recognize. The palace did not simply say the conversation never happened; it suggested that Spencer's recollection may be unreliable, a subtle but pointed distinction.

What makes this moment significant is that it reopens a wound that defined the Royal Family's standing in 1997. When Diana died that August, the institution faced a genuine crisis of public confidence. The Queen and her family appeared distant and unmoved while millions of people laid flowers at the palace gates and grieved openly. The strength of public feeling shocked the royals themselves. At Diana's funeral in Westminster Abbey, when Earl Spencer delivered his famous eulogy, the crowd outside the abbey—listening on speakers—began to applaud so loudly that the sound penetrated the stone walls and spread inside, where Charles and the rest of the family sat listening. It was, by accounts of those present, an extraordinary and uncomfortable moment. The late Queen eventually addressed the nation in a televised speech, acknowledging the difficulty of expressing grief and validating the public's sense of loss. That intervention, aided by Prime Minister Tony Blair's modernizing influence, helped stabilize the monarchy's reputation.

But the trauma of Diana's death has never fully receded from the royal story. Her sons, Prince William and Prince Harry, were forced to walk behind her coffin—a decision that haunted them both. Harry later wrote in his own memoir, Spare, that Earl Spencer had objected to this, calling it barbaric. The absence of their mother became a defining presence in both brothers' lives, shaping their relationships with the institution and with each other. Harry's broader accusation—that the monarchy prioritized itself over the happiness of individuals—has become central to the rift between him and William, and to his decision to step back from royal duties.

Spencer's new book dredges up these old disputes and adds new detail to them. In interviews this weekend, including with the BBC, Spencer has doubled down on his allegations, insisting that his account of Charles's words is precise and that he was "hyper alert" to what was being said. He has framed the memoir as a necessary corrective to decades of misinformation about his sister and the events surrounding her death. The upcoming 30th anniversary of her death next year, he suggested, prompted him to set the record straight rather than continue reading other people's versions of events.

What complicates the picture is that memory itself is genuinely unreliable, especially around traumatic events. Psychotherapists note that conversations conducted over the phone, without visual cues or body language, can be interpreted very differently by different people. Grief can produce unexpected responses, including a condition known as "bereavement mania," where someone may seem inappropriately euphoric after a loss. A YouGov poll published this week found the public deeply divided: 31 percent believe Spencer's allegations, 36 percent suspect they are not true, and 33 percent say they do not know.

Royal commentators and historians are split on the book's significance. Some view it as a necessary testimony from someone with a front-row seat to royal life. Others call it tawdry to resurrect these claims so long after the fact. What seems clear is that the book threatens to undo three decades of careful work to rehabilitate Charles and Camilla's public image. The 30th anniversary of Diana's death, combined with Spencer's memoir and the global attention it has generated, risks pulling the monarchy back into the difficult terrain of 1997—a moment when the institution looked out of touch and the public's affection for it hung in the balance.

I was hyper alert to what he was saying and those are precisely the words that he said and I promise that to you now.
— Earl Spencer, defending his account of King Charles's words in an interview with the BBC
We have all been trying in our different ways to cope. It is not easy to express a sense of loss, since the initial shock is often succeeded by a mixture of other feelings: disbelief, incomprehension, anger.
— Queen Elizabeth II, in her televised address following Diana's death in 1997
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