Your child must feel they can count on you to resolve it
En medio de una oleada de casos de acoso escolar que ha sacudido a España, la psicóloga Milena González recuerda algo que las sociedades olvidan con frecuencia: los niños no aprenden a sobrevivir al mundo cuando se les abandona a sus tormentas, sino cuando descubren que alguien los protege dentro de ellas. Su mensaje, difundido en redes sociales, no es solo un consejo práctico para padres, sino una reflexión sobre lo que significa ser refugio para otro ser humano en su momento más vulnerable.
- Una serie de casos graves de acoso escolar en España ha generado una ola de indignación colectiva, reabriendo el debate sobre la violencia entre iguales y la responsabilidad de adultos e instituciones.
- Decirle a un hijo que se defienda solo no es fortaleza: es, según González, una forma involuntaria de abandono que deja al niño convencido de que enfrentará el peligro en soledad.
- La psicóloga propone una respuesta concreta: escuchar sin juzgar, agradecer la confianza del niño y dejar claro desde el primer momento que ese peso no le pertenece solo a él.
- Cuando el acoso persiste, el rol del padre o la madre debe escalar: hablar con el colegio, mediar con otras familias, intervenir directamente, porque el niño necesita comprobar que pedir ayuda funciona.
- El mensaje de fondo es exigente en su sencillez: la crisis del acoso no mide la resistencia del niño, sino la presencia incondicional de quienes deben protegerlo.
España lleva semanas enfrentándose a una realidad incómoda: el acoso escolar sigue causando daño profundo, a veces irreparable, dentro de las aulas y con demasiada frecuencia sin consecuencias. En ese contexto, la psicóloga Milena González publicó una reflexión en Instagram que resonó con fuerza: los padres tienen la responsabilidad de criar hijos que sean refugio para otros, no fuente de miedo ni de silencio ajeno. Sus palabras invocaron a las familias que hoy lloran a niños cuya luz fue apagada por la indiferencia o la crueldad.
González fue directa al señalar uno de los errores más comunes: cuando un hijo llega a casa contando que le molestan en el colegio, muchos padres responden instintivamente diciéndole que se defienda, que lo resuelva él. Parece una lección de fortaleza. Pero la psicóloga advierte que el niño no lo vive así: lo que escucha es que estará solo. Y eso es exactamente lo contrario de lo que necesita.
La alternativa que propone es concreta. Escuchar con atención, agradecer que el niño haya confiado, pedir que cuente más. Transmitir con claridad que ese problema no es suyo en solitario. Desde esa base de seguridad, padres e hijos pueden explorar juntos posibles respuestas y ensayarlas. Pero si el acoso no cesa, el adulto debe dar un paso más: contactar con el centro escolar, hablar con otras familias, intervenir directamente si hace falta.
Lo que está en juego, subraya González, no es la resiliencia del niño ni su capacidad de aguante. Es algo más fundamental: que aprenda, en el momento en que más lo necesita, que pedir ayuda sirve y que hay alguien dispuesto a protegerle sin condiciones.
Spain has been gripped in recent weeks by a series of events that have forced the country to reckon with bullying in ways it perhaps has not before. The conversations have spilled across social media and news outlets, millions of people expressing something between outrage and despair that in 2025, children are still being harmed this way—often inside schools, often with little consequence. Psychologist Milena González entered that conversation recently with a post on Instagram that cut to something fundamental: parents, she argued, have a responsibility to raise children who become refuge for others, not storms. Not the source of another child's pain, fear, silence, or tears. She invoked the families grieving now, watching indifference and cruelty extinguish the light in their children's lives.
What González offered next was practical and precise. When a child comes home and tells you that another student is bothering them, the instinct many parents feel is to tell the child to stand up for themselves, to fight back, to handle it. It sounds like strength. It sounds like preparation for the world. But González pushed back against this, and her reasoning was psychological and clear: a child who hears "go deal with it yourself" does not feel protected. They feel abandoned. They understand, in that moment, that they will have to face this alone. That is the opposite of what they need, and it is almost certainly the opposite of what the parent intends to communicate.
Instead, González suggested a different response. When your child tells you about the bullying, listen. Thank them for trusting you. Ask them to tell you more. Say: "I want to understand everything." Make it clear that this is not their burden to carry by themselves. This is the foundation—the child must know that you are there, that you will help, that they do not have to figure this out in isolation.
From there, the work becomes collaborative and escalating. Parents should listen deeply enough to understand what is actually happening, then work with their child to think through possible responses and practice them together. But if the bullying continues—if talking it through and practicing does not stop it—then the parent's role shifts. The adult must step in. This might mean contacting the school. It might mean speaking with the other child's parents. It might mean mediating directly. The point is that the child learns something essential: when you ask for help, adults will protect you. When a situation becomes too much, you do not face it alone.
González emphasized throughout that the core principle is simple but demanding: prioritize your child's wellbeing above all else. Make them feel your unconditional presence. The bullying crisis is not a test of your child's resilience or toughness. It is a moment when they need to know, without question, that you are on their side.
Notable Quotes
Your child should feel they can count on you to resolve this, that they don't have to face it alone— Psychologist Milena González
Parents should raise children to be refuge and not storm in the lives of others, never the source of another's pain, fear, or tears— Psychologist Milena González
The Hearth Conversation Another angle on the story
When you say a child needs to feel protected rather than told to handle it alone, aren't you worried that creates dependency? That they won't learn to solve their own problems?
The distinction matters. A child who feels abandoned learns to hide problems, not solve them. A child who feels supported learns that asking for help is strength, not weakness. The independence comes later, built on that foundation.
But at what point does the parent step back? When does the child learn to advocate for themselves?
After they've learned they're not alone. After they've practiced with you, after they've seen you take their side. Then they develop the confidence to speak up. But not before they know someone has their back.
You mention the school, the other parents, sometimes direct mediation. How does a parent know which step to take?
By listening first. What is actually happening? Is it name-calling, exclusion, physical aggression? The response scales with the severity. But the parent's presence doesn't change—it's always there.
There's something about the timing of this advice—coming after recent cases in Spain. Does that change how urgent this feels?
It makes it impossible to ignore. These aren't abstract problems anymore. They're families who lost children. That's what makes the message clear: this is not something to leave to chance or to the child alone.